So my Sonshine makes a year in a few days and I have not hit my body goals yet because I AM SUCH A FATTY and I love my food alright. However that could be the least of my worries at the moment as but I am torn in thoughts of what I have done and what I will do right or wrong as I raise my Sonshine to be the ultimate King with purpose.

Do you ever feel like you are not doing good enough?
I am at work typing this with my left hand as the right one holds and supports Ehan for yet another nursing session (PS: This little man has sucked the life out of my boobies, I am ready to wean him in a few months or after his birthday but still figuring out how to do it? Any weaning tips?) I must say I really didn’t know what multitasking really was until I became a mother. And still, I feel like I could still do better. Can anyone relate to this?

Towards the end of 2017 I tweeted (add me @itsmaya_bee) that one of the things I will be leaving behind is downplaying my efforts and I will endeavor to give myself a pat on the back whenever I deserved it. Well that has been going just fine in all aspects of my life until the several moments when I ponder and beat myself up wondering if I have done enough for my Sonshine in his first year. To be honest it has been the best and most challenging year in my entire life – almost slipping into postpartum depression, dealing with all the abrupt life changes (I thought I was prepared for this journey but looks like no amount of research and books could get me ready), keeping my head up as society gives you those “you had a baby before marriage” eyes, etc. I must admit I never missed my dear mother (May her beautiful soul Rest In Peace) the way I did the past year however I survived and made it till here but my mind won’t let me be great. I am constantly wondering what could go wrong, beating myself up for some long hours of work and questioning if I am doing the right thing or will make the best decisions in future as I raise my Sonshine. Has any of you lovelies experienced this? It could be in relation to motherhood, career, family etc, please share your experiences and how you dealt with the situation.

Despite the fight in my head, a small part of me says I am not doing so bad and I deserve several pats on my back. As they say, it all begins with you. So it’s up to me to appreciate myself more which I intend to learn.

Before I forget, HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVES! Thanks for all the support and Let’s make 2018 amazing.

Pants – Gifted (Check out Style Post HERE)

Glasses – Maya’s Gallery or Shop Online HERE

Bag – BATA

Thanks for stopping by and be sure to add me on Instagram @itsmayabee and Snap Chat itsmayabee11

Stay Fab

XOXO

MayaBee

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