IF YOU CAN NOT BE NICE, ATLEAST BE SILENT!
I usually tend to over hear (NOT eavesdrop🤣) conversations amongst women and most times I feel like there’s certain things that are better left unsaid,especially to a pregnant woman who in most cases has her emotions allover the place.
So here’s a few things you should never say to an expectant mother.
Hey, you are so big/small!
Guuurrlll…….just hold it right there, unless you are her personal doctor then you don’t need to comment on this. I believe this is one of the most common things people tend to blurb out to expectant moms and I must say these two statements can equally be offensive. If you can not help it, then stay away.
“Are you married?” / So when is the wedding?
“ UMM are you married? This is something I get asked a-lot which I find hilarious. “Honey if it ain’t broken, why fix it?” is always my reply as I believe everything’s got its own timing. Babies don’t necessarily mean marriage or even secure one and marriage doesn’t automatically result into babies. Let’s keep this short and sweet guys, it’s the 21st century and everybody’s got different priorities.
Now this one pisses me the hell off (I talk about this stereotype in THIS video on my channel). Cesarean or vaginal birth don’t make any mother less of a woman, the health of the baby and mother is the most important. However, I strongly believe there’s a lot that needs to be done in terms of sensitization and educating women about birthing options. So many women in Africa are dying during birth because they refuse to listen to their doctors when cesarean birth is the only option to save the mother and baby. This just breaks my heart.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to discuss birthing options as long as you keep it positive – Cesarean is not an abomination, if one wants to have a natural birth don’t say “Oh you’re gonna be in so much pain” or if she wants an epidural don’t say “You won’t love your baby the same way because you didn’t endure the pain” (I have have received so many comments like this🙄) etc. Just keep it positive. I got an epidural after days of labor (Watch my Labor and Delivery story HERE).I will opt for it again and my Sonshine is my everything.
You’re not supposed to eat that;
If you are dealing with a person who is in a great state of mind, trust me they know exactly what they are doing so let’s not tell a grown ass woman not to eat or drink something.
Everybody’s experience in life is different and so is their pregnancy and labor therefore my horror experience doesn’t mean everybody is about to have the same horror experience. I was in labor for days but some women will experience labor for an hour or less – different woman, different story.
And if she is a first time mom, she’s already nervous enough about the unexpected so you gotta keep it positive.
You look tired;
Just DO NOT even imagine yourself saying this to a pregnant woman.
You must always remember that not all woman are able to breast feed, whether it is their body or their lifestyle, breastfeeding just isn’t for everyone. Before you know one’s struggle please keep the ugly judgemental comments to yourself. I am constantly given weird eyes as to why I am still nursing my 15months toddler -this is a choice I made and my milk supply is great so why not? Check out Hey Momma, Got Milk? for some tips to boost your milk supply.
A fed baby is a happy baby, whether it’s breastfed or not, we all want a happy baby.
You are too lazy;
“You never do anything.” Don’t you ever in yo life tell a pregnant woman she is being lazy or hasn’t done anything productive. Creating a living, breathing human can literally be exhausting.
PS; Advise is always good but keep it nice and positive whenever you feel the need to do so, you might just not realize how damaging some comments can be.
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