MOM TALKS : 02

Mother of two gorgeous girls with quite a number of titles and responsibilities, one wonders how Yvonne does it. I have known Yvonne for a few of years now (Bloggers Unite😁) and I must admit she’s such a gem full of grace, extremely hardworking and inspirational.

Here’s a conversation with Yvonne, hope you enjoy it.

BEYOND BEING A MOM, WHO IS YVONNE?

That’s something I am still on the journey of discovering. I would start with the most important which is being a Christian, this defines who I am and what my purpose is. I recently celebrated my 34th Birthday and looking back; I am amazed at how much I have changed. My life mantra has always been; “Do the best you can until you know better”. Then when you know better, do better.” —Maya Angelou. I try to live by this mantra because I believe life is one big lesson.

Regarding work, I am a government IT professional working at the National IT Authority specializing in Planning and Strategy. I also started a lifestyle blog with my sister and you can know more about us at ChicmomentsUg. I have very diverse interests including; family, travel, reading, fashion, water sports, Japanese architecture, food, coffee and the list goes on.

WHAT WAS THE FIRST WEEK / MONTH / YEAR WITH A BABY LIKE FOR YOU?

The joy of being a mom can not be compared to no other! Just like with all the good things, it comes with great responsibility. I wrote about my experience when I had Izuba my first born, catch the post HERE. It’s been a journey of patiently learning, sacrificing and putting my children’s needs ahead of mine. Mostly I learnt to pray and surrender the well-being of my little ones in God’s hands because most times there is only so much you can do.

DID YOU EXPERIENCE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION OR PREGNANCY BLUES? IF YES, THEN HOW DID YOU DEAL WITH THEM?

I wouldn’t classify my experience as postpartum depression but I had quite a number of low moments. Having a great support system especially my mum prevented me from going deeper into depression. Learning to breastfeed was so difficult, I got wounds and nursing my baby became a nightmare. I wanted to give up on it completely. This further led to engorgement which was even more painful. There were times the baby would cry nonstop and I would find myself crying because I had no clue what to do with her. Thankfully my mum and my sisters were there to give a hand and encouragement.

HOW DO YOU SURVIVE MOM GUILT?

I just learnt to let go! To let go of perfection, to let go of what motherhood should look like. I embraced motherhood as Yvonne would do it, not i think is the best way. I remember the first time I really felt guilty was when my daughter was doing her homework and there was this picture of a mother cooking and this is what she told me “mummy this is not you, this is Clare (her nanny)” I was struck with so much guilt thinking about how I was not able to cook for my children! I was able to get over this by assuring myself that it was okay! That I am out working all day and getting the time to cook is almost impossible. That gave me freedom to do parenting my own way and have peace about it.

YOU ARE A MOM OF TWO AND IN SUCH GREAT SHAPE. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THE “SNAPBACK” PRESSURE.

This pressure can be so real! We all have different body types in the sense that someone would easily snap back in a month or two while another would get back in over a year. If you have gone through the process of child birth, it’s important to honor the process and honor your body for going through such strain to bring a life into this world. I believe this attitude makes a great difference rather than if you just hate and dislike your post baby body. Once you eat right and within the right time recommended by the Dr begin to exercise, I believe that in the right time you would be able to get back to your pre-baby weight.

I remember looking at myself in the mirror like a week after having the first baby and wondering if I would ever get back to my weight. It didn’t take long for my body to get back but I cannot say for sure what contributed. I believe exclusive breast feeding really helps and also the stress from sleepless nights might have contributed to my weight loss.

I UNDERSTAND YOU’VE GOT A 9 – 5. HOW DO YOU MANAGE WORK, TWO LOVELY GIRLS AND BEING A BLOGGER?

There is one more you didn’t know about, I also belong to a church family and Missional Community where I am actively involved. To be honest I also don’t know how I do it but I thank God for the great support system I have. My sisters and friends have been so instrumental in my children’s lives and I can’t take that for granted. I have had to learn to prioritize my time, to cut back on some activities especially weekends which I now try to guard jealously since it’s the time I get to spend with the girls. Unfortunately blogging has taken a back seat but hopefully I will renew my purpose for the platform and get back to producing more regular content.

WHAT KEY TIPS WOULD YOU GIVE SOMEBODY WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN THE BLOGGING WORLD?

Blogging has surely taken the world by storm! I would say just go for it as long as you are clear with your intentions and purpose for the blog. You might fear that there are already too many bloggers out there on whatever topic you are interested in but I believe we all have a unique voice and that’s what will keep people coming to your platform.

DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A FEMINIST?

I believe in equal opportunities for everyone regardless of gender. We have been raised through centuries of patriarchy and women for the longest time have been conditioned to act a certain way. I see this changing and it makes me happy because most of our decisions now come from an empowered point of view. I see so many kick ass moms and girl bosses making a great contribution to our society. The quote “every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man” is so spot on because that’s how as a society we shall be able to make progress.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU TO KEEP GOING? AND HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR THE NEXT GENERATION? YOUR CHILDREN?

The saying by Mahatma Ghandi “if you want to change the world, you start with yourself highly resonates with me.” I try to be a better person every single day especially ensuring that I am modelling the right character for my girls. Most of the wrongs and the suffering we see can usually be traced back to a broken childhood.

Having had quite a dramatic experience as a young girl especially resulting from a poor self-esteem and poor choices, I would not want to see that history repeat itself with my daughters or any other young girl. A friend of mine and I are trying to establish a mentoring forum for young girls to build their confidence and help them make better choices for themselves.

HOW WOULD YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO REMEMBER YOU?

Being a mother is one of the greatest opportunities to grow and to serve. I hope that by the time I have come to the end of my journey I will have given them values that no one can take away from them. That as a follower of Christ, I will have modeled the practical Christian walk. I want to be the one person who will never give up on them and to love them with everything I have.

WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE EVERYBODY’S GOT AN OPINION ABOUT EVERYTHING. HOW HAVE YOU MANAGED TO STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF DESPITE SOCIETAL PRESSURES ESPECIALLY AFTER HAVING CHILDREN.

I think my blue print is very clear; being Christian and getting that wisdom from God’s word is what guides and keeps me grounded through the parenting journey. I am very clear about the future I would like to build for my children so I do nothing less of that; regardless of what that might cost me.